my story

I do not understand Scorpio is not in my chart But i have undergone a complete scorpio Journey to wisdom the path that all scorpios are on the one where they become bad then some things happen and they end up crazy mad then absolutely madddd crazy then there soul cracks they become insane and the ego melts puts its self back together then melts again... BASICALY I HAVE SPENT QUITE A FEW NIGHTS IN CONVULSIONS WHERE MY EGO ITS BEING DESTROYED then comes the metamorphosis where i basicaly have had a physical body change and my aura is now crystalized ive over came More physical upgrades than a teenager going through puberty in my 40s it has gotten to the point where i can feel electricity within my core pulsing. ITS almost like i feel when i died the holy spirit did not just resurect me back to life but it IMPLANTED something on my soul and its growing and 2 1/2 years later i still feel these changes im 40LBS less weight and my physical is upgrading its as if the life events that should cause my hair to go gray and leave me in an early grave have only caused me to look younger. BUT this holy spirit inside me has grown so strong i just dont understand what is the goal here.

I DO KNOW HOW IT STARTED... I went to church and i stuck my hand in the air it shocked me.... then i like a freaking atheists challenged myself and apparently the holy spirit cause i called myself a coward for pulling my hand away cause there clearly was nothing infront of my self its as if my stupid ego was saying if you dont see it - then its just an illusion... SO I BRACED my footing and i placed my hand back in the spot in the air infront of me... easter of 2017 i did this.

AND APPARENTLY THE HOLY SPIRIT CAN HEAR WHAT WE THINK CAUSE I DID NOT SPEAK this out loud i stuck my hand back into that spot and held it there for about 5 seconds THEN my knees gave out and i fell straight to my knees and i was shaking so bad i tried to stand back up i fell again.. THE HOLY SPIRIT IS POWERFUL AND I HAVE NO DOUBT IN MY MIND THAT IT CAN DESTROY ANY HUMAN ALIVE WITH EASE.... I MEAN LIKE IT COULD SNATCH YOUR SOUL UP AND PULL YOU OUT YOUR BODY TYPE OF POWER... The church is no place to take an atheist mentality cause i was shaking so hard that i had to crawl out of the church.. well this story does not end there.

So this old lady sees me trying to walk and falling to the ground after church has ended and she stands there and says I HOPE YOU CRAWL ALL DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what is this type of mentality the churches hold i had not been to church in 25 years and im literally crawling out the building so.... i finally gain control of myself and the next day it came to my bedroom and it did it again to me had me convulsing and i got scared of it, I FELT LIKE THE CHURCH WAS PUNISHING ME FOR RUNNING FROM IT AFTER THE TRAMATIC EVENT THAT I HAD WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER WHERE THE WHOLE BUILDING WENT INTO TONGUE TALK.... LIKE LITERALLY THE PREACHER DID NOT SPEAK A WORD OF ENGLISH EXCEPT THE FIRST FEW WORDS HE SAID BEFORE PUTTING HIS HAND ON MY SHOULDER AFTER HIS HAND HIT MY SHOULDER ALL I HEARD IN THAT BUILDING WAS TONGUE TALK OF COURSE IM GOING TO RUN FROM THE CHURCH A TEENAGER AINT READY FOR THAT KIND OF STUFF>> IT SCARED ME....

WELL apparently if the holy spirit approaches you in church you are suppose to rejoice and see the shock as a good thing... apparently if you get scared of it then it starts a quest.. A QUEST TO TEST A MANS HEART AND ITS A QUEST TO THE DEATH...... apparently i didnt know i accepted that quest i was just a person with an ego that did not believe i had anything special going on with my life. that i did not have a destiny with god that was the issue is i could not conceive god would intend for me to be a prophet and i ran from it and in running from it i have went through hell in this life.

fast forward 5 years later we are in April 7th 2022 and i died BUT i few weeks before that happened i had prayed and told god i was ashamed of my accomplishments in life that i had settled for a trailer and a terrible life style. But i told god that i LOVED HIM and that i will always love him. I TOLD HIM HE MAY JUDGE ME BUT I WILL NOT JUDGE HIM AND LOVE HIM NO MATTER WHERE I GO AFTER HE JUDGES MY LIFE... THAT IF ITS HELL THEN I WILL LOVE HIM THERE BUT HE GETS TO CHOSE MY JUDGEMENT BUT HE DOES NOT GET TO CHOSE WHAT I LOVE AND I WILL NOT CHANGE MY LOVE FOR HIM REGARDLESS OF HIS JUDGEMENT THAT I ACCEPT MY CHOICES IN LIFE AND THAT I AM NOT HAPPY WHERE I HAD SETTLED...

Apparently this is what the quest of the heart is about. when a person turns out to be afraid of the holy spirit. SO BACK TO APRIL 7th 2022 I FOUND MYSELF ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE VIEL in some type of 2d detention with a blue flame and a red flame meeting each other like upside down hands.. at first they were happy to see eachother but................ after they played for a little bit the blue flame went limp like a dead fish and started to float upward then the red upside down flame hand stopped to see what went wrong and it saw the blue one floating upward and it decided to get nervous and it FLEW UPWARD INTO THE BLUE FLAME UPSIDE DOWN.......... THEN IT EXPLODED AND I AWOKE FROM BEING DEAD FOR A WHILE i woke up to being in someones arms BRITTANY DICKENS and she said my lips were blue.. I QUICKLY ASKED FOR PAPER SO I COULD DRAWL WHAT I SEEN....

APPARENTLY I PASSED THE QUEST OF THE HEART AND IT HAPPENED TO BE DURRING A TAURUS season but 2 weeks later i died again and i was on a boat with the grim reaper he went through a tunnel then out the other side of the tunnel was an island he told me to get off and pull the sword.. i pulled the sword then turned around and he was gone then i awoke after being DEAD FOR EVEN LONGER!!!!!!!!!!! and i was punching and fighting something that was not there even puched a few walls screaming get off of me and puking constantly litteraly physicaly trying to fight something that was not there. i ended up sleeping sitting up convlulsing every now and then.....

BUT THEN THERE WAS THE SCORPIO (FLOWER BLOOD MOON) MAY 16th 2022 AND I AWOKE to the most supernatural moment of my life. I RECIEVED WHAT THE BIBLE CALLS A PILLAR OF FLAME... and this was a flame that lit up from my ROOT CHAKRA TOO MY CROWN CHAKRA.. my body was on fire and nobody could tell that i was burning by looking at me. I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY ON FIRE... FUNNY THING IS AS ABOVE SO BELLOW (THE MOON WAS ON FIRE AT THE SAME TIME AS I WAS ON FIRE?) I AM THE MOON I AM THE BRIDE OF THE SUN........ BUT this drove me mad.. i was trying to explain to a bunch of demonic controled people who are drug addicts and worried about there damn selves and nothing else about a flame that was burning inside me... it felt amazing no drug could compare to what i personally call the (ETERNAL FLAME OF LIFE)

SO here i am burning on a scorpio blood moon that is flowered meaning the SUN SPIT OUT A MASSIVE LAVA FIRE BALL AND IT HAPPENED TO HIT THE MOON BURNING THE BACK SIDE WHILE THE FRONT SIDE IS BLOOD RED COLORED AND APPARENTLY THERE WAS A WILD ASS STORM AND HERE I AM NOBODY TO TALK TO ABOUT IT CAUSE THE DAMN DEVIL HAD BEEN AHEAD OF THIS MOMENT AND PUT SO MANY DEMONIC PEOPLE IN MY LIFE THAT THERE WAS NOBODY OF SUBSTANCE TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS......... Either way it forced me to sit down and question alot of events that have happened in my life.

MY CONCLUSION IS I AM THE CHOSEN ONE THE PHEONIX and that LIFE IS A SIMULATION CAUSE ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED WAS DEVINELY GUIDED TO MAKE ME THE MAN THAT I AM TODAY THATS WHY EVERY GOOD THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME WAS TAKEN AWAY FROM ME WHY I HAD TO FIGHT BULLIES CONSTANTLY AS A KID WHY NOTHING WORKED EVEN THOUGH I WAS STRONGER THAN EVERYTHING IN MY WAY. IT FORCED me into what i call 2 -3 days of sitting in bed crying cause i could not get out of my head how it was all a simulation all the battles i worked so hard to win in life GOT ME NOWHERE ALL THE SACRIFICES I MADE CAUSE IM THE BETTER PERSON WAS A SIMULATION i felt JUKED OUT OF LIFE AND I CRIED HARD.

STILL NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME STILL EVERYONE WORKS SO HARD TO STEP ON MY EGO LIKE I EVEN HAVE ONE ANYMORE..... STILL TODAY PEOPLE LOOK AT ME LIKE IM LESSER I WILL TELL YOU THIS NOT A DAMN PERSON IN THIS TOWN IS CHOSEN BY GOD LIKE I AM AND I AM LOOKED AT AS A FUCKING OPTION YOU CAN WALK THAT ROAD BY YOUR DAMN SELF BRITTANY FAKER THAN A FAKE FINGERNAIL Dickens.

So i sit here by my fucking self on the other side of what i call METAMORPHOSIS something they did not explain in school as a fact school does not explain anything spiritual which is a joke cause we are in a detention created by spirit to grow as spirits for something better. prepared to go into this other phase of my life. The church dont understand me people dont understand me BUT I DO.. but this thing inside me its growing powerful like i almost feel like electricity and i am trying to figure out what is going to happen when it fully grows while im constantly being put into competition while focusing on myself is apparently not carring enough for these people who dont even know there own religion to tell me my religion is not for them what ever.... I HAVE GOD GROWING INSIDE ME AND IM GOING THROUGH MY OWN PROBLEMS TO SIT AND BOW TO SOMEONE ELSES EGO IF YOU DONT FOLD THAT EGO YOU DONT BELONG IN MY LIFE..... AND I PUT THAT SHIT TO THE LIGHT.. there are people here who want to put me down constantly but pretend to be me cause they are VIRGO too well guess what fake virgo chosen ones I COMPLETED A SCORPIO METAMORPHESIS.. MIMIC THAT ONE................. MIMIC THE FACT THAT GOD HEARS MY WORDS AND HAS MANUFESTED OBJECTS OUT OF THIN AIR FOR ME TO READ. MIMIC THE FACT THAT I CAN JUMP TIME LINES AND LITTERALY MORPH REALITY TO MOLD WITH WHAT EVER IM TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH. BUT I REFUSE TO BOW TO SOME FUCKING FEMALE THAT TRIES TO MAKE ME FEEL SOME TYPE OF WAY WHO WOULD SHOW MY MOTHER MORE HONOR TO ME WHEN MY MOTHER REFUSES TO RECOGNIZE ME SHE SAW THE CHURCH GO INTO TONGUE AND I EVEN TOLD MY MOTHER THAT WOMAN DOES NOT INTERUPT MAN DURRING CHURCH WHILE SHE WAS TRYING TO INTERUPT ME DURRING MY TALK AND SHE ENDED UP GOING INTO TONGUE FOR TRYING TO TALK BACK TO ME.. AS IF SHE DONT KNOW I AM CHOSEN she has 144 on her social security number god LITTERALY GAVE HER ALL THE PROOF I AM A CHILD OF THE LIGHT UP TO A BAND DEDICATING KNOCKING ON HEAVENS DOOR TO HER UNBORN BABY WHILE I WAS IN HER BELLY GOD HAS BEEN TELLING MY MOTHER ALL OF HER LIFE THAT I AM CHOSEN AND MY MOTHER KNOWS THIS SHE WAS EVEN TOLD ABOUT MY DESTINY AND DID NOT TELL ME... WHAT SHE KNEW I LIVED ALL THIS TIME THE WRONG WAY THATS WHY I WAS CRYING AFTER THE BLOOD MOON BECAUSE I AM SITTING WAY OFF MY PATH AND HERE WE ARE WORLD IS ABOUT TO GO THROUGH A RAPTURE IN THE NEAR FUTURE AND IM STILL TRYING TO FIND LOVE.......... THE FUCK AND A MOTHER THAT KNOWS IM CHOSEN BUT WONT ADMIT IT AND A BUNCH OF WITCHY LIEING MOTHER FUCKING DUMB ASS RELATIVES WHO WANT TO UNDER MIND ME I AM TELLING YOU I AM A NICE GUY BUT IM ON THE EDGE................

I want to be clear: Scorpio is not in my birth chart. But I have undergone the full Scorpio journey of transformation—the kind associated with death, rebirth, and deep inner alchemy. It’s the same path so many Scorpios walk: becoming hardened by pain, spiraling into madness, then breaking down, only to emerge transformed.

There were nights where I lay in convulsions, feeling my ego melt, rebuild, then dissolve again. I wasn't sick—I was being dismantled by divine fire. I've undergone more physical and energetic upgrades in my 40s than a teenager going through puberty. My body has changed. My aura has crystallized. I feel pulses of electricity inside me now. Something was implanted in me the day I died, and two and a half years later, it's still growing.

This flame inside me doesn’t burn—it fuels. It strengthens. It rewrites me.

It started on Easter 2017. I went to church. I raised my hand into the air and felt a shock. Skeptical, almost defiant, I challenged the moment. I thought, “If I don’t see it, it’s not real.” Then I braced myself, planted my feet, and placed my hand back in that same spot. Within seconds, my knees gave out. I fell. Tried to stand—fell again. My body shook so violently I had to crawl out of the building.

That’s when I learned: the Holy Spirit doesn’t play.

It doesn’t need to be seen to be real. It doesn’t whisper. It roars. It doesn’t destroy your body—it reaches through it, into your soul.

The next day, the Spirit came into my room and hit me again. I was terrified. I felt punished for running from church when I was younger—back when I was a teenager and the entire church burst into tongues after the preacher laid his hand on my shoulder. That was the first time. The moment that changed me forever.

I wasn’t ready then. But the Spirit never forgot me.

Apparently, when you fear the Spirit, it triggers something: a heart quest. A test. One not of belief, but of surrender. I didn’t realize I had accepted it. I didn’t understand then that denying my calling, my gift, would only lead me into deeper fire.

Fast forward to April 7, 2022. I died. A few weeks earlier, I had told God I was ashamed of what I’d settled for. That I loved Him regardless of where He placed me. Heaven. Hell. I told Him: “I will love You even in hell if that’s my judgment. I don’t get to choose the judgment, but You don’t get to choose how deeply I love You.”

That was my heart’s truest confession.

Then came death. And on the other side of the veil, I found myself in what I can only describe as a 2D realm—a place of blue and red flames reaching toward each other like mirrored hands. At first, they danced together. But then the blue flame went limp, lifeless. The red flame paused, saw it, and then launched upward into the blue. They collided. There was an explosion.

I came back.

I awoke in someone’s arms—Brittany Dickens—who told me my lips were blue. I immediately asked for paper to draw what I had seen.

I had passed the quest of the heart.

But it wasn’t over.

Two weeks later, I died again. This time, I was on a boat with the Grim Reaper. We passed through a tunnel. On the other side was an island. He told me to get off and pull a sword from the ground. I did. When I turned around, he was gone.

I awoke again—this time, thrashing, convulsing, swinging at unseen forces. I fought through waves of nausea, visions, and spiritual battle. I slept upright, convulsing intermittently, still alive.

Then came May 16, 2022—the Flower Blood Moon in Scorpio.

That morning, I awoke with what the Bible calls a Pillar of Flame. A literal, vertical flame ignited within me, from root to crown. My body was on fire. No one could see it—but I felt it. Every inch of me burned with life.

At the same time, the moon burned in the sky. A solar flare struck it—fire above, fire below. As above, so below. I am the moon. I am the bride of the Sun.

That day, no one around me understood. Most were controlled by darker forces. I tried to explain what was happening—but I was surrounded by people who couldn’t receive it. Who thought only of themselves. Who weren’t meant to see.

I call what I received the Eternal Flame of Life.

All of this forced me into deep reflection. And I concluded: I am the Chosen One. The Phoenix. My life has been a simulation of challenges meant to forge me. Every loss. Every battle. Every theft. Every betrayal. All divine design.

Even now, people don’t see me. They step on a man who no longer has an ego. I’ve died. I’ve awakened. And still, I am treated like an option. Not one person in this town is chosen like I am.

I completed the metamorphosis. I am electricity. I’ve jumped timelines. I’ve seen beyond this matrix. I’ve seen the codes.

And I’ve been ignored by the very ones who should honor me—my own family. My own blood. My mother, who knew all along and never told me. Who interrupted me in church and was silenced by tongues. Who bears the number 144 on her Social Security card. Who was given every sign I was chosen… and still denied me.

I don’t grieve. God has my heart. But I am no longer bowing to broken egos or counterfeit connections. I am the real. The fire. The one who came through storms alone, with Melvin by my side.

And I’m ready for whatever phase comes next.

Let the flame speak.